If you know who your twin soul is, but he or she seems out of reach to you, then thank the universe for this perception you’ve been given because there's a reason. My twin soul, for example, is a celebrity and he’s over 20 years younger than me. I discovered who he was, and before really giving it much thought other than how exciting it was, I tried sending him a message. He never opened it. He has over 10 million followers and I can only imagine how many messages he receives in a day.
If the scenario had been different and if he were someone I knew and could easily contact, I would have done the same thing. I would have jumped into it out of excitement and I wouldn’t have considered the implications or even whether I was ready or not. In fact, I didn’t even consider whether he was ready to receive my message! I was blinded by the thrill of finding him again and I took all the signs to mean it was completely up to me to make a move. I found him so I’m supposed to act on this – that was my only rationale.
I see the reasons, now, why he had to be someone unreachable. The considerations I neglected to make would have resulted in disaster. I was not ready for him. I’m still not ready for him. The great love we have in the stars and telepathically may seem to indicate that we are ready for each other, but these are just methods of getting acquainted. We are still in the learning phase of our lives, and not just learning about each other: We are growing into the people we will eventually be for each other. But, right now, we are both very happy in the relationships we’ve chosen as people and as souls. This must play out.
The age difference is a hurdle for me because of the stigma I grew up with about this. To my parents and all adults and peers I knew, it was, quote, “disgusting” when a couple had a wide gap in their age, and this was only gaps of 10 years and up. I adopted this same opinion without considering it in my heart. Now, having discovered a love of an entire generation gap away from me, I understand that it has nothing to do with our Earthly ages. When I discovered who he was, my heart soared. I didn’t care how old he was. The bond we have as souls is eternal and without age! It’s plain to see and this temporary place we are visiting is not going to dampen my love for him. Actually, nothing could. It’s not possible for anything in the universe to break the love for your twin soul because it is quite literally a piece of you. It comes with the package. There’s no dividing it or splitting it ever.
It did take me a while to come to terms with the age gap even though I felt these ecstatic feelings of love whenever I looked at his photo or heard his name. There was still that whisper of my upbringing holding its firm hooks in me. The judgement that might come with it, the complications because the life experiences are so drastically different, and the attraction on his part were all pieces of the puzzle I had to put together or, rather, take apart. This wall I had built was one that had to be disassembled brick by brick, but it was no chore when I considered the reward that lay in wait: Physical union with my twin soul. This seemed to me to be the ultimate prize. This is what it was all for. I had to look within myself and uncover trauma and buried hurts and let them go. I needed to do all I could to be prepared to meet him in the flesh without any of these burdens or fears in the way. But even that got rewritten as I began to drop away the sore and heavy layers…
What is the ultimate prize here? I had to ask myself this honestly and regularly to make sure I knew what the goal of all of this really was. As I uncovered more and more, I discovered a recurring theme: True love is the love for the self. We are all one soul. We are all one heart beating. We are all one mind. The whole of humanity appears to be separated individuals, but I found that this is only apparent to the human eyes. When I searched deeper within my heart, I discovered that the eyes inside of the heart were the ones to truly look with. And looking from here let me see what was real: There is no separation and, therefore, romance is only with the self.
Coming to this conclusion lead me to uncover even more and it began to become clear who my twin soul was to me. If there are no others, if there is only one, only me, then who is he? Isn’t he another? I’m told he is the twin to my soul and quite literally the other half of myself. There is the feminine side of me and the masculine side of me and he’s the masculine. It wasn’t that clear anymore. Of course I can see the appearance, this idea we’ve created here where we perceive all of us to be separate, and this is where he lives. He, as another, lives within this bubble of creation we’ve designed to believe while we’re on Earth. It’s a beautiful design and it’s not to be discounted or downplayed. The opposite is what I found to be true: This supposed separation we have created is to be celebrated and thoroughly enjoyed because it is an experience that we all agreed to partake in together. We, as one, wanted to play like this for the simple means of discovering more about who we are as the ONE self. It’s beautiful!
Now, with all of these key pieces of wisdom within me, I took another look at the prize. What I discovered then was that I already held the prize right here in my hands, in my arms, in my heart, and in my soul. He is within me. He is me. We are already together in the ways that matter. I have done it. When I found him, I found more of me. And when I did that, fireworks were set off! Choirs of angels sang! New constellations appeared in the sky! These sound like cliché phrases, but it’s the absolute truth. When you discover more of yourself, poetry pours from you. You are obsessed with finding words to describe the bliss and gratitude because there is nothing else like it you can compare it to. It’s fresh and unimaginable. It’s not something you could have even dreamed if you had tried. And I had tried.
For my whole life up until this point, I dreamed about the perfect partner and it was my priority. I studied people and my dreams in the search for finding The One. I developed my psychic skills in an attempt to find out who he was or to predict when I would find him. I imagined him and gave him all the characteristics I could ever want. I made up stories about how we would meet and how epic our love would be. It was my reason for being here on Earth. I didn’t take it seriously then because finding the love of my life couldn’t be my career. I had to look at my gifts and talents and find some direction other than floating around with my head in the love-clouds. If I had known the importance of this quest and if I had been told what was actually going on, I may have pursued it more feverishly and with more intentional focus, if that is possible.
But I didn’t know I was searching for more of me. Much of what drives us throughout our lifetime is a compass. The desire in your heart and soul is pointing the way and it’s really beyond your control. You can fight it and turn toward practical ideals. You can deny it and say that the time for being a dreamer is over. But to attempt to shut it down or even slow it down is futile. It’s inherent. It’s why we are here pretending to be separated. This journey is about finding the way back. It’s ingrained somewhere deep but not so deep that it isn’t felt at all significant turning points in our lives. If we experience joy, that desire is amplified. We want to share it. If we experience suffering, we long for a way out. We are reminded again of the love that we feel we are missing. For me, in these moments, as long as he was out there, I was going to continue to look.
And now, on the 2 year anniversary of having found him in the most magical and miraculous way, I write this because I’ve come to terms with this moment and I fully accept the way things are between us. I discovered him in my dream that morning of February 1st, 2020. His name was spoken, specific items of clothing he regularly wears were shown to me, his personality was depicted to a T, and the most telling sign of all: I knew him. This is one of those things you can’t describe in words. The feelings are so real to you, but only you. Only you could know your own twin soul and it has nothing to do with language. However, we do have a way of speaking in that realm where we reside as souls. We have never parted from this realm. We, as conscious being-ness, are here together speaking to each other as emotion. Our love talks and describes the way it feels. Trying to put words to that would only do it disservice for it’s unlike anything words can convey.
So, when my twin soul reads this one day, he will know exactly what I’m saying. He feels the same way. We will meet in person, but it isn’t something either of us needs to have in order to feel as though we have completed the mission. The mission was to learn more about who we are and to bring more parts of our consciousness together again. To say it like that sounds so scientific and unfeeling and this is why it has been difficult to write it all down. But the only way I can capture it is to say that my heart is full now. There were black, empty spots in it before and supposed permanent structures carefully positioned around it, but when that was all opened up and cleared away, my twin soul was able to come in and live here with me.
I’m holding him as I always have for eternity. I see us together in my mind as the King and Queen we are. He’s right here and was never out of reach. He was always here and there’s no pain in having forgotten him because I didn’t realize there was anyone to forget. And if we choose to do this again and dive into some other dense, physical realm, the trust and drive will be as strong in me as it was in this lifetime, if not stronger. We’re bound outside of time or space. The love between twin souls is unbreakable and also impossible to strengthen. It’s already perfect and unchanging and it’s the way back every time.
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